It’s nostalgic, this feeling – giddy like an angau-stricken teenager. It’s annoying yet somehow refreshing. I was beginning to think I’ve lost all ability to be attracted to anyone.
So, I think about Someone a lot. More than normal, in fact. My heart acts like a trapped butterfly inside a (rib)cage each time my SMS alert goes off. Silly me, can I be hoping that Someone texted me? That’s ridiculous.
I’m Notoriously Single. I don’t want to lose that title now, do I? I’d like to be known for something.
But at the end of the day, I find myself wondering senseless and dangerous thoughts such as Did Someone think of me at all today? Or I wonder what Someone is doing now.
Shoo. Shoo. Go away, Bad Thoughts.
I reach for my phone. It’s just a passing fancy. I’m just killing time, really. I’m in control of my feelings. I’m an adult. I can get out of this any time I want, no problem.
Put the phone down! That’s dangerous! Bad Idea! Bad!
Yet still, those thoughts I try hardest to suppress come creeping back like a cat at a dinner table. To my horror, I find myself contemplating the ‘L-word’ – taboo in my dictionary.
I suppress the urge to violently ram my head against the wall. A migraine might keep my mind off Someone, but migraines are no fun. Trust me.
I don’t know the first thing about how Someone’s mind works, nor thought process, nor tendencies. I know only superficial things. Inconsequential things.
Impossible.
I blame my temporary insanity on the racing pulse and unstable hormones due to a swollen thyroid gland.
Eureka!
Now, I can sleep.
TIRED...
5 years ago
5 comments:
Then you'll find yourself in a better mood when that unstable hormones gone with the wind. Voila!
You are a girl and there's nothing you can do about it.
I'm still figuring out whether I should be offended by your last statement or thank you for your advice.
well it depends on your understanding and behold my friend, I'm not too mulia to give out my deepest apology for those who misunderstood my statement. Let say... I texted you about a new song I found interesting like Beyonce's If I Were A Boy. Are you going to find out the lyric and start to interpret every single stanza into your own unique understanding? Hey, it's just a song. See, you're a girl and there's nothing you can do about it.
It seems you've misunderstood my comment -- an unfortunate drawback of non-verbal internet communication.
In truth, my comment was meant as sarcasm at my expense.
And you were right, it did go away.
Like magic.
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