I was driving home from work late one evening. Rain was falling in a drizzle, chilling the air. The rain droplets cut a million shimmery threads in the beam of my car headlights.
Weary from the day's toil, I drove slowly, my thoughts thick and jumbled. I navigated the narrow kampung roads in a mechanical daze. Another pair of headlights shone in my gaze, causing me to move to the shoulder of the road to let the other car pass. The road, although separated into two lanes, is a tight fit for two cars. My automaton brain decided it was easier to let the other car pass first rather than squeeze by at the same time. I waited there, left tyres mere inches from the roadside gutter. The other pair of headlights inched forward and stopped. I moved forward a little more, right up to the orange traffic cone someone placed at the border of asphalt and gutter. The other pair of headlights inched forward some more. I stayed where I was, having nowhere left to go.
The other car, a white MPV of some kind, lowered its window revealing a glaring, bespectacled man with dark skin.
"Ada kon kat depan," I had no idea why I was explaining myself.
"Ke tepi la! Banyak lagi ruang sebelah saya ni," he gestured with his right hand.
I didn't understand why he was annoyed. I had willingly moved aside for him leaving what I had judged to be enough space for him to pass. Pushing that knowledge aside, I released the break pedal slightly, allowing my car to lurch forward a few more inches. As the man moved his vehicle onward, raising his window, he said, "Bodoh!".
I was stunned. I couldn't imagine how the situation warranted such a comment. My tired brain tried to think if I had done something wrong -- misjudged the clearance, maybe. I wasn't sure. Maybe I did.
Bodoh! The word was spat out with such force, such vehemence, such feeling.
Why, though? The exchange lasted barely 10 seconds. Even if I was in the wrong, which I can't be sure of, was it something horrible enough to warrant such a passionately spoken insult? I was hurt more than a little. I have had a long day at work -- my mental defenses were laid bare. That one word, spoken with such careless hatred, was a direct hit to my emotional bulls-eye. My hands shook as I struggled to contain my haywire emotions.
I know I'm not stupid. I know the word that main spoke could not be applied to me in that manner. I call myself stupid all too often, knowing that I'm not stupid, not really. So, I wasn't hurt by the word itself.
What hurt me was how easily that man came to the conclusion that I could deserve to be called something undesirable with such noticeable spite. It hurt me that he said it loud enough so that I heard it. It hurt me knowing that he wanted me to hear it, that he wanted me to be offended. What have I done to him other than politely move aside to let him pass? It appalled me to know that that man became petty and mean, lashing out at another person, from a mere 10 second encounter. It this were a 9gag post, there would be a picture of that scientist dude from Futurama, captioned 'I don't want to live in this world anymore'.
“I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.” [Prophet Muḥammad - reported by imām Abu Dawud]
Do we go around with such pent up anger that even small inconveniences like kampung road ballet can cause us to spitefully attack one another?
More as a consolation than anything, let us consider the following facts:
1. That man lives in a neighborhood with narrow, winding roads.
2. He saw fit to buy a huge, expensive MPV.
Who is the bodoh one, really?
TIRED...
5 years ago
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