Air Pollution

You just stood there screaming

I had to get out of the house. I just had to. I texted Wani, asking her what she was doing. Wani replied. She just moved into her new place and was cleaning it for habitation.

I set off for Wani's.

You just stood there screaming
Fearing no one was listening to you

I moved as if some denser matter existed around me instead of air. I kept having to remind myself to concentrate on the things around me. Cars, look, a purple one. What an interesting hairdo that lady has. *Stare until she's out of sight*. Music, I hear music. It's Charlie Brown.

I tried to let the upbeat tempo carry me out of the haze of my thoughts. For a while, it worked. But then the music ended and I felt my thoughts gravitate towards that haze again. I quickly pressed the replay button before I lost myself again.

Misery
You insist that the weight of the world
Should be on your shoulders

The music was helping. But the dark haze would not be vanquished so easily. Instead of surrounding me with its dull intensity, I kept getting bright flashes of my past stupidities.

The car I reversed into.

The bank cards I lost.

My dependence on the people who should be depending on me. Shame, shame...

Be a bright red rose come bursting the concrete.
Be a cartoon heart,
Light a fire, light a spark,
Light a fire, a flame in my heart.

I sang out the words as loud as I could. Louder than I could. Loud enough that my voice cracked and shook.

You! You're smothered in tragedy
And you're out to save the world

I arrived at Wani's. She greeted me with a smile. We made stupid jokes, I can't remember what. It felt good to laugh.

Misery
There's much more to life than what you see
My friend of misery