The Note

I don't know what it feels like to be a guy. Sometimes I think I'd be better off as a guy, not because I understand guys inside and out, but because I just don't understand girls. I don't like dividing the world into guys and girls, but I've just had too much bad experience with girls that I'm beginning to feel so alien among those of my own gender.

A few days ago, I forgot to wash a bowl. One empty bowl on the table, unwashed. That evening, a note was left in the bowl.

"Kalau lepas guna, tolong basuh A.S.A.P!" said the note.

The first thought that came to mind was, have all the habitants in this house lost the ability of verbal communication? A note. They left me a note -- telling me to wash my bowl. I am being socially condemned for committing the heinous crime of forgetting to wash my bowl, and they left me a note to inform me. Wow, I feel so privileged.

The rest of the evening left me struggling in an internal battle of deciding whether to be angry or be victimized. Both are poor choices, I thought. Being angry just takes the energy out of me. If I decided to leave notes for every action of theirs that annoys me, then that would be the start of a never-ending cycle of hate. Not to mention a whole lot of notes. So it's up to me, the pacifist, to end things before they begin (See, reading Naruto does have its merits, you know). And I loath the idea of being the victim of anything. It's just so degrading. So even though it took me a whole night of intermittent anger and sadness, in the end I decided to just let it slide and pretend that nothing happened. The end -- or so I wish.

The problem is, I'm just not good at pretending to be something I'm not. And since I had a fair idea of who left the said note, I just couldn't ignore it. Or her. I knew the note-leaver never liked me for some unexplainable reason. And the note thing was the last straw. I could forgive and forget for the rest of my housemates. But it was just too hard for me to forget the actions of The Notewriter.

And I keep telling myself not to bother. I'm above this. Istighfar, Jiyuu. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to play by the rules of girls. Besides, if I'm going to have to live like this for another semester, I'm going to set some rules of my own.

Rule number one: Always listen to Buck.
Rule number two: In the absence of an individual whom goes by the name of Buck, improvise.

Yep, so improvise it is. But you know what the funniest thing is? Only girls can make me as miserable, angry and confused as this. And they can even do it over one unwashed bowl. Gotta hand it to 'em.