Ambidextrous

"Hello,” I say. I hold out my hand. Ali does not take it. He only stares. His smile falters slightly. He looks puzzled. I wonder why.

“You shake hands with your right,” Ali points out. He extends his right hand. I take it.I don’t understand the difference.

Ali asks the time. I hold up my left wrist. My watch is there. I tell him the time. Ali looks puzzled. I can only ask why.

Ali holds up his right wrist. I see his watch. He fixes the time.

“Everyone here wears it like this,” he says.

Ali is boring. He keeps telling me I do things wrong. I am tired of that. So, I go away. I go somewhere else.

I see Sally. Sally is coloring. That looks fun. I go join Sally. I pick up a pencil. Coloring is fun.

“Weird!” Sally exclaims. I look around. Nothing is weird. I look at Sally. She looks at my hand. My hand holds the pencil. It is my right hand.

Sally holds up her pencil. Sally’s pencil is in her left hand. I move my pencil. Now I use my left hand. I do not understand the difference. Coloring is fun.

Ali comes by. He wants to join. He looks at our pencils.“Left hand!” he exclaims. Ali uses his right hand.

Now I am angry. I pick up another pencil. I color with my left hand. I color with my right hand. I color with both. Coloring is fun.

“Left hand!” says Ali.

“Right hand!” says Sally.

“Weird!” say both.

I ignore them. I do not care. I want to color. Maybe I should use my feet. I ponder that thought. Just to be really different.

Defying Gravity

It’s nostalgic, this feeling – giddy like an angau-stricken teenager. It’s annoying yet somehow refreshing. I was beginning to think I’ve lost all ability to be attracted to anyone.

So, I think about Someone a lot. More than normal, in fact. My heart acts like a trapped butterfly inside a (rib)cage each time my SMS alert goes off. Silly me, can I be hoping that Someone texted me? That’s ridiculous.

I’m Notoriously Single. I don’t want to lose that title now, do I? I’d like to be known for something.

But at the end of the day, I find myself wondering senseless and dangerous thoughts such as Did Someone think of me at all today? Or I wonder what Someone is doing now.

Shoo. Shoo. Go away, Bad Thoughts.

I reach for my phone. It’s just a passing fancy. I’m just killing time, really. I’m in control of my feelings. I’m an adult. I can get out of this any time I want, no problem.

Put the phone down! That’s dangerous! Bad Idea! Bad!

Yet still, those thoughts I try hardest to suppress come creeping back like a cat at a dinner table. To my horror, I find myself contemplating the ‘L-word’ – taboo in my dictionary.

I suppress the urge to violently ram my head against the wall. A migraine might keep my mind off Someone, but migraines are no fun. Trust me.

I don’t know the first thing about how Someone’s mind works, nor thought process, nor tendencies. I know only superficial things. Inconsequential things.

Impossible.

I blame my temporary insanity on the racing pulse and unstable hormones due to a swollen thyroid gland.

Eureka!

Now, I can sleep.